


this is how i love you

by amaelamin



Series: leohyuk tumblr prompts [5]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Firsts, Long-Term Relationship(s), Love Confessions, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 15:51:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7647241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amaelamin/pseuds/amaelamin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>prompt:  Can you do luck? It can be anything from college to next door neighbours. Anything you want it to be!</p>
            </blockquote>





	this is how i love you

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted on AFF on 24 jun 2016.

_First kiss_

Taekwoon hears the porch creak next to him as long legs appear in his peripheral vision and he doesn’t have to properly look to know who it is; the speeding up of his heart is enough. Sanghyuk folds himself into a sitting position beside Taekwoon and hugs his knees to his chest, wordlessly looking out at the summer night sky blanketing Hakyeon’s backyard. The air feels much hotter now Sanghyuk’s here, weighted with unspoken feelings.

It’s been push and pull all night; unable to relax when Sanghyuk is near but immediately missing him when he’s out of sight, feeling his absence like the loss of light and warmth after the sun sets. The tension of attraction as it loosens and tightens around them is impossible to understand; being with Sanghyuk is overwhelming, but so is being apart from him.

Taekwoon hastily stubs out his cigarette in one of Hakyeon’s flower pots – Hakyeon will kill him if he finds out – and blows out the remaining smoke in his lungs away from Sanghyuk. He can hear Sanghyuk’s low dry chuckle almost as if it’s reverberating in his own chest.

“That’s really bad for you, you know,” Sanghyuk says inconsequentially, and the sound of his voice is like a heart attack. Everything about Sanghyuk is attractive to him now; the colour of his hair, the shape of his nose, his bitten-down nails, the way he moves to grab his belt when he’s nervous whether he’s wearing a belt or not. Taekwoon’s emotions are stormy currents underneath a deceptively-calm sea.

Inside, the party is winding down. People have started to leave, though Taekwoon would be hard pressed to tell you who else had actually been at Hakyeon’s birthday gig; eyes instantly seeking Sanghyuk out in the crowd the moment Taekwoon had arrived and heart pounding when Sanghyuk caught his gaze and held it.

The draw towards Sanghyuk is irresistible. He couldn’t stop himself even if he tried.

Taekwoon can’t speak – there’s many things he could say, but none of them are important enough, or clever or interesting or funny enough. Sanghyuk has made his interest clear as day but Taekwoon just cannot stop their dance of uncertainty around each other, revolving and passing just out of reach of hungry hands.

“I know,” he settles for saying eventually, and makes the mistake of turning to look at Sanghyuk because once their eyes meet he can’t look away.

He sees Sanghyuk glance down at his mouth and then slowly back up again, the invitation blatant. When Taekwoon doesn’t move, still too rooted to the spot with doubt, Sanghyuk smiles with a strange little quirk of his lips and leans in.

Sanghyuk’s lips are soft, if slightly dry, and their mouths fit so well together on the first try that Taekwoon almost can’t believe this is real life and not one of his daydream fantasies. Taekwoon can’t think over the slamming of his heart and Sanghyuk’s mouth on his, but he does at least have the belated presence of mind to kiss back. Sanghyuk runs his tongue along Taekwoon’s bottom lip – tasting the traces of smoke left behind. Taekwoon shivers.

“Fucking finally,” Hakyeon declares abruptly from behind them, and Taekwoon closes his eyes in resignation, not even surprised.

“How long have you been standing there?” Taekwoon asks, still nose-to-nose with an amused Sanghyuk, puffs of breath washing against Taekwoon’s mouth as Sanghyuk laughs silently.

“Long enough. Just like it took the two of you long enough,” Hakyeon retorts.

“Thank you for that assessment, Hakyeon, you may go now,” Taekwoon deadpans, Sanghyuk moving to run fond fingers through Taekwoon’s hair. Now his heart is starting to recover from the kiss Taekwoon hasn’t felt this relaxed, paradoxically, in months.

“It’s okay, hyung, we’ll move faster from now on,” Sanghyuk tells Hakyeon with his eyes steady on Taekwoon, meaning coming through crystal clear.

“Aw, you made him blush,” Hakyeon coos. “Do it again.”

 

_First time sleeping together_

They both know what’s going to happen when Taekwoon goes over to Sanghyuk’s campus apartment later and that makes it worse, in Taekwoon’s opinion, because it means that he’s been obsessing about it for two days straight. Sanghyuk suggested they make dinner and watch something together, which is a usual date activity they’ve done too many times to count. The difference is that tonight Sanghyuk’s housemate will be out of town, visiting his family in Suwon; they’ll have the whole place to themselves for the first time since they became a ‘them’. Time – check. Privacy – check. Proximity to a variety of surfaces conducive to having sex – check.

Taekwoon is a complete mess. Should he buy condoms? Would that be too presumptuous? What about lube? What if Sanghyuk isn’t even intending to go that far with him tonight? He’s just going to make a huge fool of himself. What if Sanghyuk isn’t even intending to do  _anything_  with him tonight?

No, that’s not it. The boy is hornier than a room full of viking helmets. They’re definitely going to end up doing  _something_ , though Taekwoon’s mounting anxiety is leaving him in serious worry about his ability to perform.

Should he shave? Would Sanghyuk like it? He didn’t seem to mind Taekwoon being… au naturel the few times he’d managed to get his hands down Taekwoon’s pants. Or did he?

“Oh, my god,” Taekwoon mutters under his breath, resisting the urge to drop his head into his hands. Right, so – condoms. Lube. Better to be prepared for anything than to be caught without.

Taekwoon goes into a convenience store and gets the goods, blushing furiously like a high schooler the entire time.

Should he prepare anything else? Their first time is supposed to be special, isn’t it? Should he buy wine?

Taekwoon is still stressing out by the time he reaches Sanghyuk’s apartment, and the simple, soft home clothes Sanghyuk answers the door in do nothing to help calm his nerves. Sanghyuk is  _naked_  under there. Is he even wearing underwear?  _Oh, god._

Taekwoon feels the symbolic weight of the condoms and small bottle of lube in his pockets as he helps Sanghyuk finish making dinner – Sanghyuk can’t cook for nuts but he  _can_  make a pretty good kimchi fried rice which Taekwoon suspects sometimes is the only thing Sanghyuk and his housemate eat for weeks on end until one of their mothers sends food from home. Going through the motions of helping to wash pans and plates takes Taekwoon’s mind off the impending deed and he manages to relax somewhat, chatting about Sanghyuk’s friends and the new school semester and Taekwoon’s sister’s upcoming marriage in the winter. It’s not until they sit down on the couch together balancing their plates and Sanghyuk’s warm thigh presses into Taekwoon’s that all of his calm evaporates like smoke.

“Eat up, hyung, you’re going to need your strength later,” Sanghyuk says casually, eyes trained on his laptop screen as he adjusts it before pressing play. Taekwoon barely escapes choking on his own tongue.

He doesn’t taste the fried rice as he chews. He can’t follow the plot of the show they watch.

When Sanghyuk takes his empty plate from him to go put it in the sink Taekwoon has to start taking deep breaths to try to steady his rapidly beating heart. It’s totally ridiculous, he knows – it’s not like they’ve been complete monks in the past month they’ve been together, and neither of them are virgins, but – he’s still nervous as hell. He wants so badly to make Sanghyuk feel good, and he wants Sanghyuk to like what he sees when he takes off Taekwoon’s clothes, and he’s hoping against hope he doesn’t do anything embarrassing or disappoint Sanghyuk in any way. Sanghyuk is too important to him.

Sanghyuk breaks into Taekwoon’s thoughts by pressing wet hands from the wash-up to Taekwoon’s cheeks from behind, laughing when Taekwoon jerks in shock. Taekwoon gives him an unimpressed look as he wipes the water from his face, Sanghyuk coming round the back of the sofa to sit beside him – and there goes Taekwoon’s heart dancing the samba once more.

Sanghyuk cocks his head at Taekwoon, smiling slightly. “I’ve got strawberry-flavoured condoms.”

Taekwoon blinks probably a few more times than is necessary at the immediate mental images, Sanghyuk’s smile widening at the dumbfounded expression on Taekwoon’s face.

“I’ve got lube,” Taekwoon makes himself say, and Sanghyuk  _grins_.

“Much more interesting than strawberry-flavoured condoms,” Sanghyuk whispers before he kisses Taekwoon.

“Relax, hyung,” Sanghyuk whispers against Taekwoon’s lips a few moments later, hands smoothing over Taekwoon’s hair and tense shoulders, but Taekwoon can’t help it. He wants this to be perfect – maybe he should have rented a hotel room so that he could lay Sanghyuk down on rose petals above pristine white sheets and then after, leisurely soak together in a marble bathtub full of bubbles – and then immediately thinks of the eternal teasing he would have to endure from Sanghyuk about how much of a romantic sap he is if he’d really gone to all that trouble and expense. Sanghyuk’s Naruto bedsheets and tiny bathroom shower are going to have to do.

Still kissing him, Sanghyuk’s hands drift slowly to Taekwoon’s shirt buttons and Taekwoon can’t help but think Sanghyuk’s treating him gently like a small animal, likely to scare and bolt at the slightest thing. It’s upside-down – he’s the older one, the more experienced one; he should be the one leading, but that’s never how it’s been between them, anyway. Sanghyuk’s been in control from the start and Taekwoon would be lying if he said he didn’t like it.

“Why are you so nervous, hyung?” Sanghyuk murmurs as he breaks the kiss to press his mouth to Taekwoon’s cheek, jaw, neck. “Do you have three nipples or something?”

“I do not have three nipples,” Taekwoon answers, feeling Sanghyuk smile against his neck as Sanghyuk’s fingers undo the last button of his shirt.

“I wouldn’t mind three nipples,” Sanghyuk tells him solemnly, leaning back to watch as he pushes the shirt off Taekwoon’s shoulders, Taekwoon shrugging out of it. “Oh, there’s only two of them. How disappointing.”

“Shut up,” Taekwoon wants to laugh, heart easing in a rush at the appreciative look on Sanghyuk’s face. Taekwoon isn’t as muscled as he used to be and he’s lost a lot of weight recently, but he’s still got a nice frame, at least – whatever he may think of his own body, Sanghyuk seems to like what he sees so far.

Sanghyuk takes off his own shirt, tugging it above his head and throwing it carelessly onto the floor. Taekwoon sucks in a quick breath.

He’d known before this that Sanghyuk has a good body, of course, feeling the firmness of it through the fabric of his clothes and by the shape of his chest and arms when he wears tighter shirts, but seeing him shirtless like this is a whole different story. Sanghyuk’s gorgeous – not too ripped as to look scarily defined but big and solid enough to, embarrassingly, make Taekwoon’s mouth water. Add this to Sanghyuk’s towering height and – Taekwoon’s never ever thought of himself as having a size kink before.

“You’re blushing,” Sanghyuk tells him.

“No, I’m not,” Taekwoon instantly counters.

“It’s okay, I know I’m hot,” Sanghyuk grins, and Taekwoon really has no reply to that as he lets himself be pushed down onto the sofa and kissed once more, bare skin on bare skin this time.

Sanghyuk’s got Taekwoon’s jeans unbuttoned and unzipped and they’re both panting by the time Sanghyuk breaks away, perfect cupid’s bow lips red and kiss-swollen.

“Bed?” he asks, and Taekwoon wants to say yes as much as he wants to say ‘not yet’. He loves kissing, loves how intimate it can be with the slide of tongues and hands and small throaty sounds escaping unintended. Sanghyuk likes to kiss deeply while Taekwoon likes to sip small kisses from the cup of Sanghyuk’s mouth, and the alternating intensity and pace this results in is one of Taekwoon’s favourite things in life. He could stay here kissing Sanghyuk forever.

But his boy is getting impatient, and far be it from Taekwoon to ever deny him anything.

Sanghyuk gets up from the sofa and grabs Taekwoon’s hand to pull him up and after him into his bedroom – Naruto bedsheets, Taekwoon knew it – pulling Taekwoon down on top of him in bed without preamble. Taekwoon digs a hand into his jeans and draws out the small bottle of lube, reaching up and putting it on the desk next to the bed before Sanghyuk is making quick work of his jeans, tugging and pushing it down Taekwoon’s legs with his feet and as far as his hands can reach. They’re both naked in seconds, Sanghyuk kicking off his own shorts and Taekwoon sending up a prayer for himself because the boy truly hadn’t been wearing underwear all this time; Taekwoon’s own boxers ending up somewhere he can’t see. Taekwoon’s nervous again, and of course Sanghyuk pushes him onto his side so that Sanghyuk can look at all the bare skin newly exposed – Taekwoon stops short of actually covering his face with his hands under Sanghyuk’s gaze, but he can still feel his cheeks heat up at Sanghyuk’s eyes tracing the curve of his cock and balls tight against his body in arousal.  

“Pretty,” Sanghyuk whispers, taking Taekwoon in hand and thumbing the pink head slowly. He’s slightly bigger than Sanghyuk he sees once he lets himself look, Sanghyuk being thicker while he himself is longer, and he’s still getting used to the feel of Sanghyuk’s cock in the circle of his fist; still getting to know all the veins and ridges. Sanghyuk lets out a ragged sigh at the contact and Taekwoon pulls him down to take his mouth again, aligning their hips so they can both stroke their cocks together. He has a moment of disbelief when Sanghyuk moans softly into his mouth – this is really happening. He’s got Sanghyuk here naked in bed with him, kissing him and starting to buck gently into his hand – turned on by the sight and touch of Taekwoon and wanting more. Taekwoon is amazed. It’s  _really_  happening.

“Hyung,” Sanghyuk puts a hand on Taekwoon’s chest, breathing hot against Taekwoon’s cheek. “Can I?”

“Yes,” Taekwoon nods, kissing Sanghyuk. “Go get a condom.  _Not_  your strawberry ones. I have normal ones in my jeans back pocket.”

Sanghyuk is off the bed in a flash, laughing a little as he picks up Taekwoon’s jeans and goes to fish in the pockets.

“Four condoms, hyung? Someone has high hopes for tonight. I have to tell you though, I don’t think I can go more than twice.”

“Then the other two are for my turn,” Taekwoon responds, and it’s not very often that he can surprise Sanghyuk with the things he says, but Sanghyuk’s reaction is always the same: a delighted grin that lights up his entire face.

“Is that so,” Sanghyuk climbs back into bed and on top of Taekwoon, dropping the condom packet onto the bed and reaching over Taekwoon’s head for the lube. He kisses Taekwoon hard and Taekwoon spreads his legs, grounding his hips on the mattress and letting the feel of Sanghyuk’s body pressed into his and his mouth distract him from the initial preparation of Sanghyuk’s slick fingers inside him. When Sanghyuk pulls back and rolls the condom on to his hard cock Taekwoon is pretty sure it may be the hottest thing he’s ever seen.

“I’ve been thinking about this,” Taekwoon says, breathless. “For a long time.”

“What a coincidence,” Sanghyuk affects surprise, making Taekwoon laugh. “Me too!”

Sanghyuk starts slow, the first slide home making them both gasp, Taekwoon’s fingers digging into Sanghyuk’s arms. It’s soft kisses and hot whispers as they rock against each other, Sanghyuk taking so much care to be gentle that Taekwoon’s heart is as full as his body. He wants to commit every second of this to memory – Sanghyuk’s skin covered in a light sheen of sweat, full mouth pressing kisses to his, one hand in his hair and another wrapped around his thigh – even as he wants to tell Sanghyuk to go faster, he’s not going to break.

Sanghyuk finally sits back on his heels and grips Taekwoon’s hips firmly, thrusting shallower and more quickly. Taekwoon’s view as he reaches down to stroke himself is breathtaking; Sanghyuk’s taut stomach muscles and strong arms, dark hair falling into bright eyes. There are no words to describe the look on his face when he comes inside Taekwoon with quiet moans, or at least Taekwoon cannot find them in the heat of his own orgasm, still full with Sanghyuk inside him and the sound of Sanghyuk’s pleasure in his mind.

Sanghyuk lies down next to Taekwoon once he’s gotten rid of the used condom and cleaned them both up, Taekwoon unable to take his eyes off him. He’s naked and completely unselfconscious before Taekwoon, confident in a way Taekwoon finds it hard to be.  

“Was it good for you?” Taekwoon asks, Sanghyuk’s arms around him and his scent on Taekwoon’s skin.

“Get yourself ready for round two in about half an hour is all I’m going to say, hyung,” Sanghyuk answers, pinching Taekwoon’s ass. “Silly question.”

Taekwoon runs his hand down smooth, cooling skin and turns his head to press his nose into Sanghyuk’s hair, inhaling deeply. He might be in love.

 

_First time actually sleeping together_

“Hyung, your arm-”

“Like this? Is this better?”

“No, I think you’ve got to move – no, the other way-”

“This isn’t as comfortable as it looks in the movies.”

“Well I’m  _sorry_  my bed is so small-”

“It’s not that small. You’re just freakishly big.”

“How about if we spoon?”

“Maybe I should go sleep on the sofa.”

“Yeah, maybe you should.”

“ _What?_ ”

“Kidding, hyung.”

 

_First fight_

They haven’t spoken in two days, and Taekwoon is honestly still angry. He doesn’t understand – that’s the whole problem. He can’t see why Sanghyuk would choose to act in the way he had and so he can’t sympathise; if he can’t sympathise he can’t try to let go.

“Well, he’s still very young,” Hakyeon tells him over the phone, and Taekwoon thinks of the explosion that had come when he’d said the exact thing to Sanghyuk.

_“How old I am has nothing to do with it,” Sanghyuk snapped. “I’m not being immature. You just need to understand that I’m not ready for some things the way you are.”_

_“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Taekwoon demanded. “Are we together or not?”_

_“That’s not the point,” Sanghyuk stressed. “I’m not ready to meet your family.”_

Taekwoon hadn’t expected the feeling of rejection to sting so badly. “I don’t know what this means for us,” he says honestly, and he can hear Hakyeon sighing on his end.

“Look, I’m not sure I’m the one you should be talking to about this,” Hakyeon tells him. “You need to sit him down and talk this through. If it means you’re going to break up, then…” Hakyeon sighs again. “I’m not saying it’s going to happen for sure, but there are some alarm bells going off here.”

Taekwoon gets through the rest of his day at work with his mind elsewhere. He’s truthfully terrified that he’s completely misread this thing he’s got with Sanghyuk – he’s completely serious about him, but now he doesn’t know if Sanghyuk feels the same. Hakyeon is right – Sanghyuk is still really young. Twenty-one is the age of endless possibility and it could be the thought of settling down with twenty-six year-old Taekwoon has never even entered his mind. Taekwoon’s only the second boyfriend Sanghyuk’s ever had.

 _We need to talk_ , Taekwoon messages Sanghyuk, and he hates how it sounds like a scene from a bad television drama.  _Can I come over later?_

Sanghyuk takes a while to reply, and Taekwoon knows he’s stalling. Maybe by this time tomorrow Taekwoon’s going to be single again, after seven wonderful months. Seven months without even a serious quarrel, which honestly is something he’d been in disbelief about – their personalities are different enough and Sanghyuk has a tongue both sharp  _and_ blunt enough to make anybody skeptical about the long-term viability of a relationship involving the two of them – and now this.  

_ok. i’ll make sungjae go out._

That’s all the reply he gets, and Taekwoon resignedly goes back to work.

Taekwoon rehearses over and over in his head what he’s going to say to Sanghyuk once he sees him later, and wonders if he should buy dinner as a kind of truce or peace offering. He’s still upset, and he doesn’t trust himself to keep his emotions in check if Sanghyuk loses his temper as well, but there has to be a resolution to this and the sooner the better. If Sanghyuk’s going to break up with him and break his heart in the process then that too needs to happen fast, like tearing off a bandaid.

Sanghyuk doesn’t smile when he opens the door of his apartment to Taekwoon, but takes the bags of food from him and brings them to the kitchen to plate them, thanking Taekwoon politely and emotionlessly. Taekwoon’s heart begins to sink further into his shoes.

“Sanghyuk,” he raises his voice from the sofa where he’s sitting when Sanghyuk has spent far too much time in the kitchen to be just putting food on plates. “Come here. Please.”

Sanghyuk appears with two glasses of water in his hands, and he sets one down in front of Taekwoon without a word. He sits down next to Taekwoon – a full foot of space between them – and fixes his eyes somewhere on the wall behind Taekwoon.

Taekwoon takes a breath. He had not expected Sanghyuk to make things this difficult.

“Sanghyuk,” he starts, wishing Sanghyuk would look at him. “I think you need to tell me why you don’t want to meet my family. Because-” he stops, hating what he’s going to say. “Because you know how important they are to me. And if you don’t want to be a part of that I’m not sure we can be together.”

Taekwoon watches the muscles in Sanghyuk’s jaw work for a full minute before Sanghyuk answers, voice sounding like it’s taking a huge effort for him to say the words. “I’m not out to my parents. I can’t be.”

“I know that,” Taekwoon says, wondering what this has to do with it. “I’m not trying to make you tell them about us. This is about my parents, and my sisters.”

Sanghyuk’s body jerks, like he is trying to keep himself contained. “And your parents are completely okay with you bringing a guy home?”

Taekwoon lowers his eyes to his hands. “More or less.”

“What does that mean?” Sanghyuk demands, tone cutting. “What is ‘more or less’?”

Taekwoon takes another deep breath, still looking down. “They’ll never be totally fine with it. But they know this isn’t going to change. And they’d rather still have me in their lives than out of it.”

Taekwoon slowly raises his gaze to Sanghyuk’s face, dreading what he’ll see there, and tears threatening to spill over onto Sanghyuk’s cheeks is the last thing he expects. Sanghyuk dashes them away angrily and moves back out of range of Taekwoon’s hands that had reached out automatically to him.

“And what if they decide they can’t accept you being with me?”

Taekwoon looks at Sanghyuk, and thinks of how Sanghyuk never talks about his parents, only his sister, and wonders how blind he’s been all this time.

“Then,” Taekwoon swallows. It’s incredibly hard seeing Sanghyuk cry, even if he’s savagely holding back the sobs and wiping away each tear vengefully. “Then I will deal with it. But it’s not a situation that will end up with me breaking up with you.”

Sanghyuk shakes his head. “It’s better if they don’t know. You’re going to leave me.”

“Sanghyuk,” Taekwoon puts out a hand and grips his arm. “I love you.” Sanghyuk scoffs painfully and looks away.

“And they love me. They really love me.” Taekwoon moves closer towards Sanghyuk slowly, in case Sanghyuk pushes him away. “And they’re going to love you, too.”

Sanghyuk lets Taekwoon hold him, slowly relaxing into Taekwoon’s arms by degrees like it’s hurting him to do so until Taekwoon dares to brush away the tears still clinging to his eyelashes.

“I’m scared,” Sanghyuk whispers into Taekwoon’s shirt, so soft it’s almost like he doesn’t want Taekwoon to hear. Knowing Sanghyuk, that is the exact reason.

“It’ll be fine,” Taekwoon tells him. “My sister Miyeon especially is really going to love you. The two of you are going to hit it off like crazy.”

Taekwoon begins to talk, telling Sanghyuk about Miyeon when she was younger and how she could well be Sanghyuk’s twin, and then moving on to the other two sisters and his mother and father, rambling about anything he can think of and repeating old stories that he’s told Sanghyuk already.

“You said your mother makes really good bossam,” Sanghyuk interrupts, voice no longer watery, and Taekwoon smiles.

“The best. You should learn how to make some dishes from her, kimchi fried rice isn’t going to cut it forever. She’s really precise though so you have to be careful-”

They remember the food Taekwoon’s brought over when Sanghyuk’s stomach lets out a particularly loud rumble at Taekwoon’s mention of his mother’s beef stew, and even though Taekwoon has work the next day he doesn’t leave for home, intending to stay the night with Sanghyuk. He doesn’t think either of them want to be alone, especially his prickly, emotionally-backwards Sanghyuk.

“We’re going to have to talk about handling emotions and how to negotiate our differences constructively,” Taekwoon tells him in mock-seriousness as they prepare for bed, Taekwoon showered and wearing Sanghyuk’s pajamas. “Next time,  _talk_  to me.”

“Hyung, did you mean it,” Sanghyuk asks as he turns out the light, ignoring Taekwoon _._  “Just now. What you said.”

“What did I say?”

“You said. The l-word.”

“Lettuce wraps?”

Sanghyuk hits him.

“You said you love me.”

“As if you don’t know.”

“Oh,” Sanghyuk makes a pleased sound.

 

_First child_

Taekwoon holds his newborn nephew in his arms like it’s the most precious thing he’s ever had the privilege to see or touch; the baby stares back up at him in the way only babies can stare unblinking, and Taekwoon coos at him, feeling like he will melt into a puddle of warm goo.

Sanghyuk gently touches the baby’s cheek with one finger, feeling too big and clumsy around something so small and fragile. The baby yawns and makes a tiny sound and the both of them immediately inflate with squee, making Taekwoon’s sister burst out laughing.

“Come on, give him back. I need to feed him,” she says from her hospital bed. Her husband goes to get her nursing shawl from her things so that she can cover herself while the baby – Minyul, she’s thinking of naming him – feeds, Taekwoon still being googly-eyed at the tiny feet sticking out from under the shawl.  

“How can anything be so small,” Sanghyuk muses wonderingly. “Noona, you’re a goddess. You just created a human.”

“That’s right,” she says, looking round at her husband. “Did you hear that?”

“Sanghyuk, don’t make life difficult for me,” he says in his soft, low voice, and Sanghyuk laughs. “I had half a hand in this creation, you know.”

Taekwoon takes back the baby the minute he’s done feeding, and refuses to give him up even when his mother comes back into the ward and begins to fight him over who gets to hold the baby next.

Miyeon calls Sanghyuk over to her bedside and he makes himself comfortable next to her, noting the weary lines and paleness of her face.

“Noona, are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’ll be fine. I just had the most terrifying experience of my life, but I’ll be fine.”

Sanghyuk shudders. “I can’t even imagine childbirth. Newborns are tiny enough but for them to come out of your – oh my god.”

“Be thankful you’ll never know what it’s like, then,” Miyeon slaps his arm hard. “Idiot.”

“Abuse,” Sanghyuk complains.

“Hyukkie, listen,” Miyeon begins after a pause. “Don’t take this the wrong way, okay? But I’m sure you know Taekwoon really loves children.”

Sanghyuk stiffens, and Miyeon notices it immediately even though he’s trying to hide it. He isn’t expecting this from her of all people.

“No, no, Hyukkie, listen to me. I’ve been meaning to say – I want you both to be Minyul’s godfathers. I know it’s not the same as having your own kid, but – and I mean, you’re still so young, I’m sure you haven’t thought about having kids at all – but, I think it would mean a lot to Taekwoon. What do you say?”

Sanghyuk doesn’t know what to answer, and Miyeon takes his hand in hers. “You can come over anytime to see him, and I’m going to call on you for babysitting duties, you better believe that – but if I’m overstepping my boundaries or anything here please say something.”

“Thank you, noona,” Sanghyuk eventually says after a minute of Miyeon looking worriedly at him, heart too full to really speak. “You’re right. It would mean a lot to him.”

“You’ve been together for three years already, I just-” Miyeon starts and stops, laughing at little at herself. “You make him really happy, you know that? And I’m so glad you’re part of this family.”

“Noona, stop it,” Sanghyuk mutters, and Miyeon laughs outright now at the furious blush overtaking Sanghyuk’s face.

“What are you doing to him, noona?” Taekwoon looks over from where he’s lost the battle of the baby-holding to his mother, but still crowding her gawping at Minyul nevertheless.

“Telling him how much I loooooove him,” Miyeon answers. “And how cute he is, and how adorable he looks when he’s blushing, and-”

“Noona,” Sanghyuk wails as she pinches his cheek, something only she can get away with.

“Oh, shut up, you love me too,” Miyeon says, and is unprepared when Sanghyuk replies “I do”, very quietly.

*


End file.
